Monday, 1 September 2014

Saying "I'm fine" when you're not



There are some days in life when we don’t feel in our best of spirits. We feel let down, demotivated and alone but when someone asks us “how’re you?” We reply,

“I’m fine. What about you?”

How many times have we said the same without meaning it?

Why don’t we admit that we’re not fine and could really use a hug right now from someone who could listen and genuinely care?

Why do we try to conceal the fact that we’re humans too and we feel emotions which are sometimes not positive?

We always try to portray only the best version of ourselves to the society that we live in. We want to appear as strong individuals and make people feel that we could take up on any situation thrown at us.

But only you know how you feel and how much it deeply hurts.

The worst thing about acting strong is you don't get to express your inner feelings. You can't admit that something is affecting you and you just can't handle such strong waves of mixed emotions. So you live in DENIAL and day by day, the overload increases and ultimately it weighs you down, crushing your soul into pieces and leaving you numb.

But why do we have to lie?

If you ask me, I believe that the question "How are you? has become a greeting like "Hello". In many instances the questioner's facial expressions or tone of voice tells us that they don't have the time to hear how we truly feel and are least interested, thus we say "fine". Also we maintain an unsaid social hierarchy all the time and the people who don’t fit into the top levels are not supposed to know how we do feel. That is the masks we all wear.

So when we say that we are fine, we are expressing a socially normal response. We are supposed to be okay, so we will say so in order to move on to the next topic to talk about, to divert from the feelings that we truly feel just to be at the safer side away from the cross questioning or the judgmental eyes of many.

Even after all this, we ask them the same question.

Are we concerned about them? 

Maybe. Maybe not.

but we still ask out of general politeness and courtesy with the same tone as they asked us in the first place....

..and they reply back with, "I'm fine too".

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16 comments:

  1. Unfortunately many of us do this... we say we are fine when we are not... I have caught myself on occasion saying what I thought people wanted to hear for the reasons you say, people don't seem to really want to know ... but there are people that do want to know the truth...

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    1. When you're surrounded with a lot of fake people, it is so hard to trust even genuine people because you're scared. Scared of being hurt.

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  2. A lie that we maybe say to convince ourselves that we are fine even if we're not. Or maybe because we just don't want to bother others. Sad but everyone's guilty on one way or the other. Thanks for speaking your mind and the truth here.

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  3. In response to your post, which reminded me of something:
    http://snehchandel.blogspot.in/2014/09/coffee-that-comes-with-good-bit-of-cheer.html

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  4. I think you're right; it's more of a social nicety to say "how are you?" and we don't necessarily care for the long-winded, "well, I've had better days, I feel a bit rubbish..." response. People generally want to hear "yes I'm good thanks how are you?" and any response other than this can make people very uncomfortable - they don't know how to respond!
    Thanks for linking up with #WeekendBlogHop!

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    Replies
    1. "They don't know how to respond!" Exactly! This is what that happens.

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  5. I am so guilty of doing that all the time... I didn't even realise until I read your post!
    I guess.. its just natural human instincts to hide the " not so positive " side of themselves.
    Great post and blog!
    June<3
    The Journeys' of my beating heart

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad, you could relate. Thank you :)

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  6. I always say "I'm fine" when someone asks "how are you?". But a lot of the time you ask a person how they are to start a conversation without really caring about their answer and it's the same the other way around. So maybe just saying "I'm fine" is the best way to go.
    I love your blog, by the way =)

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  7. How many times have we found ourselves telling the world we're okay when we really are not? Such an honest post. :)

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Capture some sunshine *winks*

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