Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Stop waiting for SOMEDAY

Image: deviantart.com

"Someday, I'll...."

How many times have you started a sentence this way?  Have you pushed things to the back burner, like forever? Do you understand that...

You waste your entire life waiting?

You wait for Sundays. You wait for summer. You always wait for the next big thing to come, the degree, the job, the partner, the time, the money. You wait because you tell yourself that you don't have the budget to travel, that you don't have time because of your job.

So you wait. Wait for the ideal situation to get away. 

Waiting for things to get settle down at work. 

Waiting to save enough to go out on a tour. 

Waiting to be happy.

Waiting for someone to fall in love with you.

Waiting for this...

Waiting for that...

Waiting for someday...

Waiting...

"Someday" is a brilliant sense of false hope you give to yourself to procrastinate. Although waiting can teach you a lot about patience and discipline, it can also mean that you're living in denial. You wait for an ideal situation that will never come.

Someday won't come. Someday can't come because it doesn't exist. It never had. It's a warm comforting blanket of illusion that you wrap yourself with to give a million excuses to not do the things today. 

If you realize that someday could be any day...

It can be today. It's the only day that matters, the only day your future depends on. 

Life doesn't wait until you're ready. You take a chance or you miss. At the end of the day, here would always be risk involved in anything you undertake. You're not 100% ready for anything in life and you don't have to be. You grow into whichever path you take.

You waste your entire life waiting, but what are you really waiting for? 

The clock is ticking.

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Friday, 12 June 2015

How it feels: Getting your heart broken for the second time

This is a sequel to: How it feels: Falling in love for the second time

When your heart was broken for the first time, you were devastated. The second time you'll be left annoyed. You already went through your first heartbreak. You know the feeling, the pain that you thought would never end. You cried for sleepless nights and ate countless number of chocolate ice-cream tubs.

But one fine day you found someone and just when you thought that you would never be able to love again, you did. The cupid stuck you and even though you call yourself a commitment phobic person, you loved him dearly and you knew that he loves you too.

But now, your heart has been left broken for the second time and you're merely a more stronger and heartless version of yourself. You'll find yourself questioning whether you'll ever find true love in life but you'll soon shrug it off and not succumb to old ways. Your emotional immune system will protect you now since you have gone through all of this before.

You'll fear being the mess you were and will protect yourself from being that person again no matter what it takes.

Maybe you'll replay the conversation all over again in your head while trying to sleep. Maybe you'll contemplate the entire point of your relationship, it doesn't quite matter anymore.

zenpencils

You'll retreat back into your shell, demanding solitude because now you find it hard to trust people and most importantly you're scared to get attached.

"This is the reason I feared commitment", you'll shout to an empty wall.

The second time it happens, It's going to hurt but in a different way. Unlike the childhood what-am-I-without-him-pain, the pain has grown up to be mature just like you in these years with experience. It will be a heartache, a constant heartache demanding to be felt but you'll still get up from your bed and get on with life very much unlike the first time. The heavy feeling in your chest will return when you hear his favorite song on the radio or pass through the restaurant where you both went on a date, that moonlit night.

Stay strong and this phase shall pass. You have survived this before, you'll survive it now. You'll watch yourself transform into someone that you never expected.

You got to remember that you'll reach on to the other side, just like the first time and perhaps fall in love once again.

Perhaps?

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Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Lessons I learned in the sophomore year of college

It still seems like yesterday when I was travelling to different cities to find the suitable university for me and today, I'm halfway done through my college. It's insane how time flies.



Image: imgkid.com

Also read: Lessons I learned in the freshman year of college

I have some great memories of the last year. Comparing it with my freshman year, I think I have started to know so much more about me and it's amazing and terrifying at the same time. Here are 10 things that I have learned:

1. You will freak out because you will realize that you're halfway done with the college:
If that wasn't obvious from the first line of the post, I'm actually freaking out. Everything is happening so fast! Do you remember how exciting it was moving on from high school to college? I think moving on from college to the corporate real world will be a much larger transition. I need to remind myself to make an effort and enjoy every moment of it because this will not last forever.

2. People will start to show their true colors:
In the freshman year, everyone and everything was new. People wore masks to impress people, make friends or to be in the cool crowds. Once they get settle in the sophomore year, they start revealing their true colors and then you realize the true identity of the person.

3. You will lose friends but the ones you have will be closer to you:
Because of the above point, you will lose friends. You will leave some and some might leave you. You both can blame time, work,distance and this is inevitable but there would be a few people who would cling closer and you will realize that you never had such closer and stronger bonds with your friends ever before this time.

4. Grades matter now:
I have always believed that your CGPA never defines your self worth but the grades would matter to some extend and you will learn this pretty quickly once you start taking in major classes. So start studying from day 1 and practice questions from the beginning. Trust me, it would save much time in the future,

5. Master the pomodoro technique:
The pomodoro technique has saved my life when it comes to assignments and projects. I usually set up a timer and concentrate on a particular topic for 50 minutes and a 10 minutes long break. This helps me to be productive even at a long stretch of work. Master this and master time management.

6. Meet your professors:
Since the beginning of time, I have never really interacted with my professors and now I understand it's importance. you should go and meet your professors outside classes and have your doubts cleared regarding the syllabus or even anything extra. Interaction comes in handy if you are drowning nearly at the end of the semester. They would be more likely to help if they already know you than just going in their cabin when you are already in the bad spotlight.

7. You need to own up and start taking responsibilities:
You're almost 20 now. You're no longer a kid and the earlier you realize this, the better it would be for you. You need to step up and start talking responsibility for the things happening in your life because this is the only way you would be able to change it. Stop running away, young lady/man.

8. You're your own cheerleader:
Since now you take up your own responsibilities, you need to understand that no one can make you happier than yourself. You are in your own control. I know, there are times when you feel even worse than a plastic bag but you need to cheer yourself up and focus on the silver lining among the clouds.

9. Create a bragging list:
I have created this at the back of my annual to-do diary. I list all my smallest or huge achievements in this year. It makes me happy on my gloomy days and reminds me of my power on the days when I feel worthless. You should make one too. You can decide to make it private only to you, which I did or make it public.

10. Explore the city:
You're miles away from home which you call your home now. It's a new city with a new culture and heritage. Let your hair down and immerse yourself in the new environment. I admit to not exploring the city as I should in the last two years. I plan to do this in the next two years. Below is one of the tourist attraction in the city. Isn't there much to explore and experience? :)



2 down, 2 more to go! Share some of your stories from your sophomore year of college. I would love to hear! :)

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