Friday, 12 June 2015

How it feels: Getting your heart broken for the second time

This is a sequel to: How it feels: Falling in love for the second time

When your heart was broken for the first time, you were devastated. The second time you'll be left annoyed. You already went through your first heartbreak. You know the feeling, the pain that you thought would never end. You cried for sleepless nights and ate countless number of chocolate ice-cream tubs.

But one fine day you found someone and just when you thought that you would never be able to love again, you did. The cupid stuck you and even though you call yourself a commitment phobic person, you loved him dearly and you knew that he loves you too.

But now, your heart has been left broken for the second time and you're merely a more stronger and heartless version of yourself. You'll find yourself questioning whether you'll ever find true love in life but you'll soon shrug it off and not succumb to old ways. Your emotional immune system will protect you now since you have gone through all of this before.

You'll fear being the mess you were and will protect yourself from being that person again no matter what it takes.

Maybe you'll replay the conversation all over again in your head while trying to sleep. Maybe you'll contemplate the entire point of your relationship, it doesn't quite matter anymore.

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You'll retreat back into your shell, demanding solitude because now you find it hard to trust people and most importantly you're scared to get attached.

"This is the reason I feared commitment", you'll shout to an empty wall.

The second time it happens, It's going to hurt but in a different way. Unlike the childhood what-am-I-without-him-pain, the pain has grown up to be mature just like you in these years with experience. It will be a heartache, a constant heartache demanding to be felt but you'll still get up from your bed and get on with life very much unlike the first time. The heavy feeling in your chest will return when you hear his favorite song on the radio or pass through the restaurant where you both went on a date, that moonlit night.

Stay strong and this phase shall pass. You have survived this before, you'll survive it now. You'll watch yourself transform into someone that you never expected.

You got to remember that you'll reach on to the other side, just like the first time and perhaps fall in love once again.

Perhaps?

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10 comments:

  1. Sakshi... I've had my heart broke a couple of times... the last one was the worst... I have not truly wanted to give love a chance again as I fear if I fell as low as I did... what if fell lower? Instead I need to think like this... I need to remember that I did get through and I will get through... awesome post ♡ xox

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    1. Love is complicated and it will forever be. It is one of the things that I have feared and maybe continue to..

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  2. Hey sakshi.. I read this post today and realised so many things which are going on with me right now, personally I felt the same for the second time. Being a perfectionist in a relationship is a very big deal but still there are so many things you can't just control and all that I realised was the people inside my bubble are merely attached to my heart with strings, strings of love, care and anger sometimes and when you cut them lose you just not lose the person itself but the emotions attached with your heart. They're gone.... they're like really gone and the more you try to bring them back, farther they go. It's really hard to smile and wave to the world when you want to cry it out loud and curse yourself for loving them with a hope of getting them back together, look at the beauty of irony here.
    I appreciate your writing always and I've learned so many things today with this post. Thanks!
    Keep writing, Keep Blogging :) :')

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    1. I appreciate your long heartfelt comment on the post. I agree that there can't be perfection in any relationship whatsoever but there can indeed by mutual perfect understanding among the two.

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  3. As long as you have breath in your body there is always hope. Life is full of possibilities.

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    1. As it's said in GoT "Life is full of opportunities but death is final".

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  4. It is a good story, it is scary when you find another person or they find you, all you can think about is will it happen again? This makes you even stronger to let your guard down and in dong so might loose the right person because of the past relationships that didn't work. It is very scary, just stay strong it may hurt for awhile but the right one is out there :) just where I am looking for him to )

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  5. What a brilliant post, i really enjoyed reading it :)

    lillies and lipbalm
    xx

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Capture some sunshine *winks*

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